(large sketch of a nose in back of desk with 2 phones on it.
Woman sitting at desk.
Voice of 1st phone is from a man standing behind hanging nose)
Characters:
Woman
Voice
WOMAN.
(1st phone rings)
Brussel's broccoli sprouts,
Medium of the East speaking.
Yes
We have Darm cures.
Darm, D.A.R.M.
They put you in the sprocket of the sprout
And bathe you in kitty litter
And
(2nd phone rings)
can you hold?
Pop up Puberty Crackpot Soap
Yes we perfume.
Oh, your odor.
Oh
your odor, it's so unusual
It comes right through the phone desk.
But ours will reach through the drainpipes of
your typical bathroom country and
cause the President's eyeballs to twitch.
Yes we go beyond the mere titillation of the nose
into the astounding refitting of round eyeballs into square sockets
(laughs)
You know how those satellite bathroom countries are
they havent rounded off their odors yet.
So we have political process at our disposal.
Our odors insist and change.
We are politically oriented,
we change the world through smell.
The nose is connected to every other part of the body
including itself.
Your appointment?
At 12, will that be convenient?
12:15. Thank you.
(hangs up 2nd phone, back to 1st phone)
Thank you for holding.
I had a rimjob patient on the other line.
Yes, I am the secretary,
Our organization has combined the former major functions
into the secretary
in other words
I am the doctor or
docteur too.
All our secretaries perform all the major functions in this clinic.
Besides selling pop up puberty crackpot soap
we demonstrate every function of its aura –
anal, oral, aroma, atonal, anatomical
and anointed.
Yes we have instant phone cures
in it, around it, through it, sometimes under it –
we control everything we’re connected to.
(pause)
Cracked
Popped
Nukes ?
The New Nukes?
I hadnt heard of that
but we’re in
the Pussy-So-Firm Department
You know, to go along with
the Cock-So-Limp.
Or should I say the bulge instead of the recess.
Recesses bulge too, on the other side.
Recesses have bulges, and those bulges fit
the recess on the bulge –
that is
the big bulge.
All bulges have some recesses.
Tho an exact mathematical bulge that exists in the previous state of mind
where we used to live in the 50's
with social orientation not even learned yet
an exact mathematical bulge cd exist on an abstract level.
But I'm talking too much how's your father?
VOICE.
(this is the voice being talked to, now heard)
Oh he's selling odors now.
WOMAN.
Well he should join up with the Pop Up Puberty Crackpot Soap
and reform his pad.
All change comes from within.
You start in the very circles of your own eyes.
Havent you ever wanted, really wanted to change?
VOICE.
Oh yes, and how. I have changed
without really wanting to.
I have learned to be practical
and apply my mute wisdom
to my hands, my fingers
beyond my fingers.
WOMAN.
And that leads to the discovery of ectoplasm.
VOICE.
The aura is what surrounds you
whether you like it or not.
WOMAN.
I dont see it, I never did.
This office is so hot.
God I hate working here.
But when through your own ectoplasm
you materialized over the phone
as all those customers
voices in the ear
became you.
Wow, working in this slave joint
almost became worth it.
(2nd phone rings)
Excuse me.
(answers 2nd phone)
Major Centrifugal forces.
(other phone 3rd? rings)
Oh I’m sorry I must put you on hold.
Illusory Bumper Stickers.
Yes, we do have no-Knox gelatin.
All things gelatinous, oozy, translucent, slick
like jello, we have.
We use them for our Illusory Bumper Stickers.
VOICE.
Oh yes, Electrolux Vac
back where we are.
WOMAN.
In front of the backdrop.
Doing a routine.
A routine day in the life of
Mrs. Phantasm
the illustrated illusory spa
of never-never life.
Well it's all hogwash.
We know that language wasnt pure
it was all computerized.
VOICE.
It had its magic formula
but that was an amalgamation computerization
the computer talking magic talk
plugged into the telephone machine
trained by satellite into the Mistress Computer
and returned here
at the phone desk.
Of course I materialized but I always do
when the day is over
and the job is done.
That free week time when you float
from one space to another
and hopefully land.
WOMAN.
Land.
Well, we're at home.
And you're on the phone.
(ring)
Hello, Weightlifting Division.
No, Harold's out to lunch.
Sure, he works here.
This is reality, come back to earth,
drop all those seaside clouds
this is the desert.
This is the fuckin desert.
You dont see no palm trees out there
this is the real desert.
You know,
carbohydrate vacuum.
Yeh.
VOICE.
Well I wont be staying long.
WOMAN.
Goodbye.
(Hangs up.)
(End)
larry goodell / placitas, new mexico / 28May1981
This play(let) reflects
Body Palace, a play for two women, which I wrote in 1975. A recording of Body Palace is
here.
Love to all in the continued revelation of "3 Dimensional Poetry," Poetry in the Round, Poetry in the Plaza, Lifeforms of Poetry living and well interconnected and interpersonal with its surroundings . . . .
larry
